


Book of Distress

by FoxlushFox



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 02:41:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxlushFox/pseuds/FoxlushFox
Summary: He only did what the Superior ordered him to do.So why, with no heart, does it hurt?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of multiship Hurt//Angst Possibly Fluff, that started thanks to my counter part Saturn starting an Angst Day on Twitter, but it got me out of my creative stump and i want to continue doing mini stories like this in between the remaining Chapters of Wrong Prints.  
I figured i would make mini-stories one ship per chapter!  
Enjoy!
> 
> Love,   
Fox

It was hard to come to terms with the sudden circumstances. The Superior made a demand, he had to carry it out. He didn't understand why it was so hard when he didn't have a heart, or so Xemnas claimed. 

He stood in the doorway of the man who was his childhood friend when they had been somebodies. The redhead didn't seem to notice right away, he had just finished recuperating from the Castle Oblivion job. The man acknowledged the redhead with hawk like eyes, until the other seemed to notice he was being watched. 

"Jeez Saix, you could knock you know, or make noise so i know that you're here." The redhead chuckled with a snarky smirk on his face. Saix felt hesitant about going inside the room, a strange sense of dread swirling in his gut even though his features gave no sign of distress. Like a switch, the feeling faded away and he stepped toward the other silently regarding him with disdain.

"Axel. You failed to report to me your findings. Xemnas-"

"Xemnas can give a guy a few days to calm down Saix." Axel interrupted impatiently. He watched Saix grip his arm, a growl rumbling in his chest. Saix tried to calm the wild beast inside of himself, and walked toward Axel's window, moving away the curtains to allow the moonlight to wash over him. Kingdom Hearts bathed him in the only warmth he felt, he yearned to reach for the palace of hearts being collected, wanted one for himself. Axel moved to stand beside him, leaning into him slightly with a sigh. "Did he ever say how long... Until Kingdom Hearts will be open?" The question echoed in Saix mind. Xemnas never said, but Axel wouldn't get to find out.

He couldn't delay any longer, for if he did, Axel would surely disarm him in a way that should not be possible without a heart. He turned to the redhead, his childhood friend, the one he always wanted to protect, and moved to lift his chin up. "Axel." Axel looked surprised, and if he had any humor in him he would have laughed. No, he needed to focus. 

"Well if you wanted a kiss just say so." Axel retorted, moving closer. Saix brought Axel's chin closer, leaning to kiss him. The redhead reached to wrap his arms around the other, but Saix kept his other arm down, free of restrictions. 

He pressed closer, something in him fighting against what he had to do. But he couldn't stop now. He lifted his arm around, just as Axel pulled away for a moment, and he plunged a blade deep inside of his back, poking out of his empty chest cavity. The redhead looked alarmed, confusion washing over him. Saix took a step away, summoning Lunatic and holding it out. 

"You should have reported to The Superior as soon as you returned." Saix felt a strange hole in his chest, looking at the redhead who suddenly had crimson colored liquid dripping from his lips. It was the look of betrayal in those green eyes that made him pause. "You should have listened. You forced my hand." He heard an unfamiliar voice croak. It took him a long minute before he realized it was his own. No, don't let him disarm you now. Finish him. 

"Isa-" Saix cut Axel down, red liquid splattering everywhere. It painted the white colorless walls, and in the silence he listened to the gurgling of his childhood friend. He watched the black mist of Axel's body, fading from existence. But why was there so much blood? Saix felt liquid rolling down his cheek. He thought it blood at first, but became aware that somehow, he was doing a very somebody thing. He was crying.

"Lea..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three words can cause the most pain.

Vanitas and Roxas were sitting close enough for their shoulders to be touching, their fingers brush against each other softly. Both boys sat in the quiet, enjoying the peace of being beside one another. They had been dating for quite some time now, even though it took Roxas awhile to get Vanitas to warm up to him. Everything was going great, they both recognized their feelings without needing to say a thing. But Roxas felt it was time. "Vani?"

The Raven haired boy turned toward him with furrowed eyebrows "hm?" 

"I love you." Roxas said, a big smile on his face. This, however, didn't last. As soon as the words left his mouth, Vanitas's eyes grew wide, and Roxas could see a sudden feral anger clouding the Raven boy's features. 

Vanitas stood up quickly, stepping away from Roxas as if he had struck the other and hurt him. Roxas was confused, wasn't this how he was feeling too? "Why? I never thought you would even betray me in any way, yet you sit there and lie to my face?" Vanitas spat. Shock rippled through Roxas, and he didn’t know where this anger came from suddenly but stood to take a step towards the other.

"Vani... I am not lying to-" Vanitas shoved Roxas away, a look of fear passing through his features followed by that anger again. 

"Don't call me that. Don't you call me that. Don't touch me. Why couldn't you just leave it at what we had!?" Roxas felt like he had been slapped across the face. "You are far too clingy and the feeling of your skin on mine absolutely disgusts me!" Vanitas screamed. The raven boy’s eyes misted over but Roxas couldn't even breathe to ask why. Why was he saying all these things? He felt as though someone had placed cotton balls in his mouth and ears. 

Vanitas stepped towards Roxas and slammed him into the wall, the blond was frozen with fear. "I will never let anyone hurt me again." Vanitas snapped. But Roxas noticed how thick the raven haired boy's voice was. Why hadn't he noticed before. But how could he. Roxas lifted a shaky hand toward the other's face, and watched as Vanitas flinched away in what could only be pure terror. He realized that Vanitas wasn't with him presently, but somewhere in a past he never would have guessed to be so dark. 

He always let Vanitas initiate anything they did, so he had no idea what one unexpected touch could do. What three little words could possibly mean. "Do not touch me!" Vanitas cried out. The sound broke Roxas's heart and he reached out again. Vanitas snatched his wrist and tightly pinned it to the wall causing the blond to bite back a whimper.

Who had hurt this boy who had become everything to him? What did the words "I love you" mean to Vanitas? Roxas began to cry, Vanitas letting go immediately as if burned by the touch of foreign skin. The same skin that was touched by him countless times, for countless months. "Vanitas... I'm sorry I won't say it again, but please tell me what's wrong?" Roxas got out between sobs. 

Vanitas glared down at him, his hand twitched as if to move in and touch the blond. But instead, something changed in him and he took a step back with a sneer. "You are pathetic. What makes you think a brainless idiot like you could even love me?" He laughed humorlessly and Roxas felt his heart began to shatter. "You are just some lonely boy who needed affection and I happened to be there. You can't possibly love me. Because I don't... Love you"

Everything around Roxas stopped moving, including his heart. He stared wide-eyed at the raven haired boy, tears streaming down his cheeks. Vanitas looked unfazed, which only clarified what he feared. He forgot about moments ago when Vanitas flinched away from him, he forgot all the gentle caresses and soft words that were whispered to him when no one was around. He forgot everything that had mattered in the past months. And a burning ache took over. 

He straightened up, a hateful glare returning the amber one. "I hate you, you bastard." Roxas felt his heart ache but it only made him more angry. Vanitas lied to him this whole time? He was everything that his friends warned he was. Darkness. A heartless prick. Roxas shoved past Vanitas, a small part of him still hoping the raven boy would stop him. But when he didn't, he knew then what this meant. "Don't ever talk to me or come near me again." Roxas snapped, and walked out of the home. 

Vanitas stood there, staring at the wall where the blond once stood. As soon as he heard the door slam, he crumpled to his knees, clutching his chest. It was for Roxas's own good. He couldn't let the boy who had become his everything grow too fond of him. A sob tore from his throat and he rocked, tears blinding him. "I'm so sorry Roxas... You can't love me. I'm... An abomination." 

He screamed towards the ceiling, knowing too well that he gave up the one person who gave him a heart. But he had to protect him, he would never hurt Roxas again. "He'll stay away. He hates me now. It's best he does." It didn't stop the agony that ripped his heart to shreds. He fooled himself into thinking if they never said the words, they would be safe to continue what they had. He could pretend he was allowed to have happiness. But Roxas deserved better. Not a "freak" not a useless tool. Not a heartless creature who didn't "deserve the life he had". 

"I'm so sorry Roxas… but, I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you feel betrayed, emotions can just, destroy you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a branched off angst from my fic Wrong Prints, but is by no means canon with what is happening in my story.  
E...enjoy ^^;;
> 
> Love,  
Fox

Xion sprinted out of the house, avoiding Vanitas’s grasping to stop her. He looked surprised as she turned on all the people, arms spread out in order to protect the wolf. “He’s our friend! Don’t attack him!” Vanitas’s jaw dropped, and he really looked at the golden wolf. The wolf cried again, nudging Isa’s limp body frantically. “Uncle, call Dr. Lea right this minute! We need to get this man to him! He’s dying, please!” Xion begged, tears springing to her eyes. 

The silver haired man, Xion and Vanitas’s uncle, looked surprised for a moment, startled by his niece’s unwavering trust in the wolf that looked identical to the one in the warning photograph. He ordered for a couple men to go ahead and get the doctor. He cautiously looked at the golden wolf, before looking at his niece. He held his hands up as a sign that he meant no harm, and waved for the rest of the men to carefully help him pick up the man.

Vanitas stared at the wolf, his sister hugging it tightly, and felt so many emotions pass through him. “Goldie…?” He questioned. In response, the wolf shifted, revealing a trembling Roxas on his knees who looked up with agony in his blue eyes. Betrayal filled his features as he watched the blond clutch his chest and tremble in his sister’s arms. This made so much sense. No wonder he always evaded certain questions and wouldn’t learn how to fight with their weapons. No wonder he got along with Xion so well.    
  
Anger began to consume him, and he took a step forward without thinking. Roxas’s head shot up to look at Vanitas helplessly and he froze for a moment. “Please… I’m sorry I didn't tell you… But save my Dad.” Xion looked up at him as well. He felt something in his mind snap. He was lied to, this person, this thing… lied to him. Used him. How did he know he wasn’t the real culprit of the murders. He didn’t know.   
  
“Shi. Go inside and get him a blanket.” Vanitas said. His voice was weird, and even Xion noticed it. She hesitated before Roxas trembled harder, and then she stood, shooting a look towards him. He only looked at her pointedly. If she wasn’t his sister, he would have struck her down too. As it was, whatever feelings he was beginning to comprehend with Roxas were fading, being replaced with contempt.    
  
As soon as he heard the door shut, he moved closer and knelt in front of the blond. Those blue eyes knew, they could see it in him. He watched Roxas look around him, before trembling with a nod. “Do it.”

Vanitas felt surprised for a moment, part of him that still pined for this creature trying to hold him back. But it only lasted so long before the hatred came back full swing. He felt the anger bubbling up his chest. This creature hurt him like no other. Not even the one that killed his parents hurt him like this. This hurt was intimate, the ultimate betrayal of someone whom he had grown so close to. He held up his blade, the look in his eyes absent but boring into those blues.

The thing about a Hunters blade, depending on the shape, told you how it was made. Certain blades with a sharper curve were only made from a special metal that could cause permanent scars if the wolf got away. That way a Hunter could pinpoint that wolf in its human form. Other blades, like the one in his hand currently, was meant to kill. It was doused with poison made from monkshood, also known around the villages as wolfsbane. Vanitas had always thought it was humorous, the beasts being killed by something with their name. 

He placed the blade against Roxas’s neck, and the blond slowly lifted his hand up. He stroked Vanitas’s cheek, the softest of touches, and for a moment he felt those intimate feelings again. “I lov-” He couldn’t accept it. He grabbed the back of Roxas’s head and yanked it forward, pressing his blade into the skin in the opposite way. He cut off the words before they could stop him. He tore through the creature’s neck, decapitating it as he kept sliding the blade into the blond’s neck. Blood splattered about, once he finished, and he felt its warmth on his face and down his arms. He felt the laughter before he heard it, tears streaming down his face.

He placed the head down and heard the door open behind him. The screaming of his sister brought him back to the day when he was nine and his parents were murdered. “Vanitas! What have you done?!” He gazed emptily at his sister, watched her fall to her knees gripping the sides of her head. She was staring at the discarded head, watching the body in front of him twitch. He found himself unable to look back at what he had done. Something in him was lost. Instead, he stood with unexpectedly steady legs and turned toward the town. 

“I have… something i need to do.” He walked toward Dr. Lea’s house. Leaving his sister and the blond behind him. Unable to function past one thought. Kill all the Werewolves, starting with the one at the good doctor’s office. He fell into insanity, when he forced his own hand to take the life of the precious blond who had captivated his heart. If only he had told him, if only Roxas had been honest. They could have been together. If only...


End file.
